The winds of change are gale force these days in my little microcosm of The Universe, how about yours? Huge and unexpected shifts are happening in every imaginable arena for me – new people, places, ideas, connections, and potential projects are multiplying by the minute while what little certainty there was disappears. The good news is that the way things are moving the decisions are being made for me, and as long as I don’t resist these sudden changes its fun and exciting to surrender to the flow.

            To give you just one example of what I’m talking about, I found out a few days ago that I have to move out of the place I’ve been living in – in less than a month! The owners of the house suddenly decided to sell their other house and move back in ahead of schedule. My first thought was to look for a new home, but since I’m leaving for China after a little trip to Colorado in July, I don’t really have time to set settled even if I had a place to move to. Since I don’t know whether or not I’ll be returning to Hawaii in January, it seems obvious that I need to put my few remaining things in storage and become a total gypsy for now. I have invitations to visit people all over the country, in fact, all over the world, so clearly that’s what I need to do. 

Yesterday I got a call from a reporter for an East Coast newspaper who wanted to interview me about Polyamory. She was very cute -- unlike the typical feature writer who knows at least a little about Polyamory, she was a straight news reporter who wasn’t quite sure how to pronounce this strange word. Interview requests from reporters are not so unusual in my world, but when she said, “I guess you know why I’m calling you now,” I had to admit that I had no clue. My first thought was to wonder which current presidential candidate had been caught in bed with someone other than his or her spouse. It turned out she wanted to talk about a new CBS series on Open Marriage that premieres this Thursday! The show is called Swingtown. It’s a 70’s period piece and in the 70’s what most people now call Polyamory was called Swinging. We’re talking a major network folks and we’re talking 70’s revival! If you’re too young to remember, keep in mind that what most people think of as the 60’s started in the late 60’s and didn’t really catch on until the 70’s.

I have lots to say about Polyamory vs Swinging, which is, of course, one of the things this reporter wanted to ask me about. I quoted my own book saying that in theory, swingers are emotionally monogamous and therefore not truly polyamorous, since polyamory means many loves. In reality, many people who call themselves polyamorous would more accurately be called polysexual, and many people who call themselves swingers fall in love with people other than their mates and find themselves negotiating the challenges of multipartner relationships. I explained to the reporter, “Maybe you’ve met Lesbians who have male lovers. Or vegetarians who eat fish and chicken. Labels and identities can be misleading.”  

The thing is, back in the 70’s, many of the people who pioneered swinging were formerly idealistic hippie types who were trying to take “free love” mainstream. Nina and George O’Neil’s book Open Marriage, which introduced that term only has one chapter on non-monogamy. The rest of the book is about how to be an individual within the context of marriage. Swingtown hasn’t aired yet, but from the trailer it’s obvious that drugs and partying are part of the picture. How different is that from what most people now consider to be Polyamory? Or Tantra for that matter?

My own Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits has more than one chapter on multipartner relationships, but the rest of the book addresses the evolutionary potential of Polyamory – which I define as letting love flow – another frequently overlooked little detail. So wouldn’t you know, these winds of change have me considering writing an update and sequel to bring forward my view on why each wave of the Sexual Revolution – free love, feminism, swinging, polyamory, sacred sexuality – has failed in significant ways and what we can do now to truly liberate the evolutionary purpose of sex. These scenes have all been fun and life affirming in their own ways. They haven’t taken us any place worthwhile as a society because the evolutionary purpose of sexualove is still blocked both by lingering monogamous conditioning, and the associated sexual guilt and shame and repression on the one hand; and the lustful, unintegrated fucking and sexual wounding and abuse which follow. I have much more to say on this subject, so maybe I will write that book! If anyone reading this happens to be literary agent, or can offer a place for a writing retreat (next Fall would be perfect) please get in touch!

More immediately, I’ll be speaking into the Inner Marriage Dialogues. Join me, Becca Tzigany, & Peter Thomas on Thursday, June 12 at 6 PM PDT for a new teleseminar. There is no charge but you must pre-register by emailing me at taj@lovewithoutlimits.com to request the call in number and access code.

I’m also delighted to announce I’ve rescheduled the Love Without Limits ReUnion Retreat Week I was planning before I broke my leg last summer. Armand and Angelina have agreed to join me at our best ever location, on the beach, in Tulum, Mexico (about an hour south of Cancun) May 23-30, 2009. Register online NOW at http://www.sevenlawsoflove.com/store/shopdisplayproducts.asp?id=22&cat=Workshops  and get a Super Deluxe beach front upgrade with private bath at no extra charge! Armand (www.armandandangelina.com)  will tell you it was the best week of his life, and so will almost everyone else who attended one of our many Tulum retreats.

 

Aloha ia o'koa pa'ulo. When we meet in love, we shall be whole!

Much love to you all,

Deborah Taj Anapol

We have arrived at the mid-point between the Spring Equinox and Summer Solstice, a day that has long been considered as a very sacred time. Legends tell us it’s a time when the veil between the worlds is thin and a time when riuals to ensure an abundant harvest are celebrated. Has the time leading up to this day, known as Beltane in old Europe, been a wild ride for you too? Have seeds planted long ago begun to sprout or regenerate in the past week? Some say the journey is more significant than the destination. Nevertheless I am so grateful to have returned to Center, the route hardly seems to matter.

 Still, I’d like to share a little about this journey, and place a few markers on this new trail I’m taking, so that I can find it again and perhaps you can too! If you’ve been reading these letters for a long, long time, you may remember that some time ago, after several years of working intensively with Jack Painter and his Pelvic Heart Integration trainings, I began writing a book about harmonizing masculine and feminine energies. Eventually, I started to call this book Inner Marriage or Sacred Marriage. I got about halfway into it, then got sidetracked writing a proposal and looking (unsuccessfully) for a publisher, and then put it aside because I sensed I needed to take my understanding to another level before I could finish writing this book.

 Recently, that level has begun opening up for me. Synchronistically, an old friend and former lover called to talk about a different, but closely related book idea he is working on days after I began writing again! Also in this time frame, I received email from at least a dozen people with a link to a short talk by Harvard brain scientist Jill Taylor discussing what she learned about the right and left brain hemispheres when she experienced a stroke. If you’d like to hear her incredible story, click this link: http://www.ted.com/speakers/view/id/203.

 Oh, and while you’re cruising the web, if you click on the following link you can hear Chip August’s podcast interview recorded in February. Honestly, if you only have time for one, choose Jill Taylor. But if you’ve manifested a both/and world, choose both! To hear more about my last book, check out

http://personallifemedia.com/podcasts/222-sex-love-and-intimacy/episodes/3547-dr-deborah-anapol-natural-laws

 If I were to put the shift I made into one sentence, it would be this. Inner Marriage is less about the union of what we imagine to be male and female within and more about the union of Ego or Rational Mind with Spirit. In relation to the Divine we are all female, whatever our gender. Said another way, the deeper meaning of Sacred Marriage, or Hieros Gamos, is the marriage of the personality with the soul. When this marriage is consummated, the third brain (usually called the Solar Plexus) spontaneously opens. This triadic linkage has too many implications to elaborate on here.

 What does this have to do with Beltane? In ancient times the Hieros Gamos ritual was celebrated on this day. It involved the King mating with a priestess who represented The Goddess. Not only did this ritual ensure the fertility of the land, but it was necessary for the empowerment of the King. Somewhat later, and indeed well into patriarchal times, the royal line in many places continued to be matrilineal. The Queen’s husband became King, and was often the official ruler, but his power derived from his marriage to the Queen and she groomed their son, the future King. Metaphorically, this translates into the right relationship between the human and the Divine being one in which the human (whether in a male or female body) is in partnership with the Divine to create a “new being” who fully integrates Divine Will with a human body/mind.

Did you notice I haven't posted anything for a few months? If you’re having the same experience as I am, you probably didn't. Since returning to the San Francisco Bay Area after two months of adventures in SE Asia, I’m only slowly retrieving my memory of what I left behind. If I were truly complete with the past, this might be a wonderful way to live – totally in the moment with no need to reach backwards in time. But I’m not quite there. Instead I am wondering where I left my gardening gloves and my post office box key, which food in the fridge belongs to me, when my broken computer will be shipped back to me and to which address it should be sent, whether my car needs an oil change, how far I got on my tax return before I left town and whether I will ever live in Hawaii again.  Being away from my home base boggles my mind, especially since I’ve only been here a short time before leaving town.

 At the same time, dozens of fantastic but now irrelevant memories of Thailand, Cambodia, and Hong Kong flash through my mind.  Unless you ask, I’ll spare you the details of the wonders I saw: The magnificent ruins at Angkor Wat, the huge crystal Shiva Lingam deep in a Buddhist cave temple near Chiang Mai, the nearly deserted hot spring pools outside of Pai, the Jade Buddha in the Kings Palace in Bangkok, endangered pink dolphins in Hong Kong waters. Instead I want to share the three big discoveries I made on this trip.

 

1.        Men and women in Asia struggle with the exact same relationship issues and dynamics that we do in the West.  Of course, since we have all inherited the legacy of patriarchy!

2.       In the very oldest Angkor temples, dating back to around 800 AD, there is evidence of equality and mutual respect and trust between men and women. The sculpted images of both temple dancers and warriors include male and female figures. By 1200 AD this had shifted to many scenes of battle among male warriors and a few female “asparas” or “dakinis.”  Interestingly, these dates correspond to a similar shift spoken of in the oral history of the native Hawaiian people.

3.       This one is more personal. While Asia is fascinating, and I look forward to visiting again, Hawaii speaks to my soul. Through my travels I was shown that Hawaii is my true home, as I have always known, and I must stay open to find ways around the apparent obstacles which block my return.

 In that spirit, I am now asking you all to help me reclaim my dream of continuing to live at Lokahi Farm. It appears that the opportunity has arisen to buy out the co-owner’s share of the farm, but I no longer have the funds to do this. The Golden Age at Lokahi Farm floundered when what I imagined to be a shared vision was revealed to be anything but that. It took me over a year to come to peace with the idea that I would have to give up this magical place.  But the land would not release me.

 If there is one lesson – and there have been MANY – I’ve learned in this process, it has been to ask for help voluntarily! It’s not easy, but I’m getting there. In order to keep the Farm, I need to raise about $125,000. Now. That might seem like a lot, but if each and every one of you reading this (well receiving this, I know some do not read it!) contributed just $100, that would do it!

 Over the years thousands of people have thanked me for helping them create the lives they’d always dreamed of living. They’ve freed themselves internal prisons of guilt, shame, and limiting beliefs. They’ve met friends, lovers, mates, whole communities of kindred spirits. They’ve been inspired to live their dreams and had peak experiences they couldn’t even begin to imagine. They tell me it would never have happened without me.

If you are one of these people (or if you’d like to be!), you are being overly generous if you give me credit for the beautiful life you’ve created for yourself.  But I ask you, please be as generous now with your pocketbook as you’ve been with your words! If I’ve improved the quality of your life in any significant way, consider helping me out of this difficult situation! I’m not asking for a handout (although donations will be gratefully accepted) but I am asking that you PREPAY your next workshop, private retreat, or coaching session now  so I can raise the cash to claim ownership of Lokahi Farm.  Buy now and collect your products anytime within the next year! If we succeed, the first six people to enroll are invited to be my guests at the Farm for a week of celebration. 

 

 To see what your money can buy and pay by Visa or Mastercard, go to http://www.sevenlawsoflove.com/store/shopdisplayproducts.asp?id=5&cat=Miscellaneous or click on the store link on www.lovewithoutlimits.com and go to the “miscellaneous” category. If you prefer to pay by check, send checks to Deborah Anapol, POB 335, Fairfax, CA 94978.  Together we can do what I cannot do alone. Please help restore my faith in community! I thank you in advance with all my heart.

One of the main things I’ve learned in the last year is: It is always better to volunteer! What I mean by this is that if there are certain experiences coming your way, you can embrace them or resist them. As many of you have no doubt discovered, resistance is painful, but embracing may be a bigger stretch than you can say “yes” to at that moment. Sometimes you can sidestep the whole ball of wax by taking some action which moves you beyond the crossroads you find yourself at, which moves you out of harms way and off in an entirely different direction. It’s as if you have entered another dimension, a parallel universe where that cross roads has become a rotary with new roads branching off in many directions. This is what I am calling volunteering – discovering a previously unseen road and high tailing it down that road without hesitation.

 

For example, let’s say that you’re a forty year old woman who really wants to have a baby. Your partner of ten years has been reluctant to take on parenthood, but he finally decides he’s ready for it. You’ve been trying to get pregnant for a year and it’s not happening. If you are in resistance you will be stressing out about having waited too long, angry at your partner for ignoring your biological clock, and fearful that you will never get pregnant. You may be contemplating exploring expensive and invasive medical procedures to help things along and worrying about whether they will work and how you will pay for them. You can’t make yourself let go of the whole dream of parenthood and raising a family. Meanwhile, your closest friend who is few years younger than you are accidentally gets pregnant. The father has bolted. Your girlfriend really wants the baby but is afraid of going it alone. You suggest to your partner that you invite her to hook up with the two of you and raise this child together. He agrees, she agrees, and soon you are all attending prenatal education classes and shopping for nursery furniture together. You feel threatened by the growing intimacy between them, and you ask for their support in overcoming your fears. This is volunteering.

 

Many people commented after I broke my leg that I needed this to slow down, perhaps because I was commenting on how awed and amazed I was by the experience of spending much of the past four months in bed. Or maybe they’d discovered how long it takes to go anywhere when you’re on crutches! But the truth is that I was already slowing down A LOT before I broke my leg. I wanted to slow down and was quite clear that it was necessary. I was voluntarily slowing down. What I was not doing voluntarily was asking for help. I didn’t have to because as long as I was able bodied I was pretty much able to get by without asking for help. Breaking my leg changed all that in a flash. I needed help and not asking for it had immediate and disastrous consequences. If asking for help when I didn’t really need it (volunteering) was hard, asking when I was desperate and didn’t think I could survive getting a “no” was nearly impossible. But I had to. I had no choice. I had to stop taking it personally if someone said no, or said yes but clearly wanted to say no, and just do it. But looking back I can see that it would have been a whole lot easier to voluntarily ask for help with things I felt overwhelmed by when I did have choice. Looking back I can see that taking it personally when someone says “no” or does something harmful to me is not useful. It’s so much simpler to have clear boundaries and not waste energy feeling victimized.

It’s totally human to long for love. Often this longing first appears as a tremendous desire to connect with a particular romantic partner. If this longing is fulfilled you may be content for a time and look no further. If you are frustrated in your efforts, you may be more motivated to investigate the source of this longing. Either way, you will eventually come face to face with this mystery. What is this longing for love? Why is it so powerful? Where does it come from? And how can it be satisfied?

 

Spiritual wisdom tells us that you can only long for that which you already are. It appears that the love is in someone else, but this is only an illusion. The love that you feel is inside, it can’t be felt any other way. If you didn’t already know love intimately, you would not long for it. You wouldn’t even suspect its existence.

 

Most of us have forgotten that we are pure love and so we seek love outside ourselves. This longing is very useful because it activates your quest for love. Ultimately this search leads you to the realization that you feel love when you are being loving, not when you are being loved by another.

 

Exercise: This simple but powerful exercise came to me through Adyashanti. Try it and see what happens! The next time you feel that yearning for love, feel backwards into it. Feel it going in, even as it’s going out. Feel back, trace it back to its root and see if you don’t already possess what you seek. Take it as a question. Is it true that love is absent? Welcome the longing for love as an opportunity to do this practice until you find the love inside.

While I see honesty as a principle that impacts every aspect of life, I have chosen to focus on honesty in intimate relationships because, as many ancient and modern sages have realized, the Family is the Building Block of the Culture.

 

If children are raised in homes where honesty is the norm, that is what they will learn and come to regard as the norm. They will not stand by silently when this norm is violated, but will speak out, confident of their experience that honesty is rewarded not punished.

 

In contrast, intimate relationships have for centuries been a training ground for lying. We are taught to lie to avoid hurting a family member’s feelings and told this is love. This is a difficult habit to break, in part because of the good intentions behind it, and in part because of our need for approval. Nevertheless, once we realize the consequences of lying, and once we realize we have another choice, we can begin changing this norm, first in our selves, and then by example and by behavioral reinforcement with our loved ones.

 

The truth is we have no real possibility for intimacy if we are NOT honest with ourselves about what we are feeling and thinking as well as in our communications with others.

Never in my life have I spent so much time doing nothing. Maybe I lolled about as an infant before my memory begins, but I have been on the go for as long as I can remember. Even during the rare times when I wasn’t doing a whole lot, I had practices, I had plans, I had projects on the horizon. I’ve been on a mission of one kind or another ever since I can remember. It’s been surprisingly easy for me to just stop though I doubt I would have without the benefit of a broken leg. And now as I begin to get my energy back, Samhain (aka Halloween) approaches, marking the midway point to the winter solstice, and the natural time of year for hibernation and slowing down. As luck would have it, I’m still in California where the seasons are more pronounced than in Hawaii. The days are quickly growing shorter, the nights are longer and colder, and in the quiet countryside where I now live, it’s easy to slow to a halt. Some people might look at these three months which I am calling doing nothing and say, “You’ve gotta be kidding! What about moving? What about healing? What about filing a law suit?” But everything is relative. For me, this is the most aimless I’ve been since I was a young teenager.

 

Ever since the early ‘80’s I’d believed that my purpose in life was to create more peace in the world by expanding the boundaries of the family, raising awareness that there are many possibilities for honest intimate relating, and supporting people to heal sexual trauma, limitations, and conditioning by reuniting sex and spirit. Last year when I heard spiritual teacher Isaac Shapiro sharing about how the idea of having a mission is really ego-driven it made an impression on me because I’d already started noticing how this is so. While many people might benefit by giving more attention to discovering their life purpose, my ego had definitely gotten hold of this concept of purpose and was using it in ways that were not entirely joyful.

 

Just as people can create a spiritual ego which very effectively keeps them apart from the Oneness they seek, my mission driven ego had become a barrier to my own self love and union with the Divine, not to mention a human beloved. I was too busy taking care of people and running every aspect of my publishing and seminar business, and then the Farm, to stop and smell the roses. Worse yet, I’d sacrificed several relationships on the altar of leading seminars on Tantric sex and polyamory. If you don’t understand what I’m talking about, think of it this way. Let’s say you’re an ordinary person who loves to ice skate and your partner does too. You have a wonderful time playing around at your local rink, or lake, you totally enjoy yourselves, you sometimes skate with others, and no one pays any attention to you. There is no stress involved and if you’re having a bad day you just take a break and wait for a better moment. This is a completely different experience from skating with a partner professionally or in the Olympics. Suddenly the pressure is on. It’s your duty to get that Gold Medal. Your time is no longer your own. You have to practice, travel, and perform whether or not you feel like it at that moment. You are so busy preparing for the next event you no longer have time to enjoy each other. Your flight is cancelled due to bad weather and you don’t know if you will arrive in time for the competition. Judges are scrutinizing your every move and the crowds are for or against you. Fans tell you to get a new partner if you want to win. Other fans tell your partner the same thing. Your partner misses a beat and your chances of winning are threatened. You have a misunderstanding at an inconvenient time and your whole career is threatened. This isn’t an exact analogy, but you get the idea. Not the easiest conditions for undertaking explorations which are already challenging to begin with and for which there is no road map.

The other day, I got an email from a listserve I'm on that summarizes a talk recently given by a former Isreali intelligence agent and bodyguard to Golda Meir who has a new book out. OK, so he's promoting his book, but he's also the guy who told the CIA a month before 9/11 many details of the planned terrorist attack. He has an extensive track record. He is now saying that a wave of simultanous terrorist attacks will sweep both major US cities and rural areas in the next few months. My crystal ball is offline these days, so I have no idea whether this will come about, but I find myself wondering - if I did know this was coming, what would I do now? Anything different from what I'm already doing?

It's kind of like the "what would you do today if you knew you were going to die tomorrow" question that I love to live with, but different in significant ways, because it's not so much about  dying oneself as it is about the end of a way of life we are used to. This message is being discussed in many different ways in many different circles. We are on the edge of some major shifts in life as we have know it.

Having had the experience a month ago of unexpectedly hearing my leg bone snap after a fall, I've been with this realization of how life as you know it can change in an instant. Things I took for granted, like being able to drive somewhere or hop into the bath tub or shower whenever I wanted, are suddenly difficult if not impossible without assistance.

As it turned out, life had prepared me well to surrender to this experience without my "trying" to prepare specifically for this event.

And I am still in the process of fine tuning - where is that delicate balance point between when is it appropriate to go with the flow, and when is it appropriate to stand fast and say "no!" not in my name.

Would love to hear others feelings and thoughts and experiences around some of these mysteries ....

Love,
Taj

INTERVIEW WITH DR. DEBORAH TAJ ANAPOL  AUGUST 24, 2007

 

 

Q1- Dr. D,, in your article 'What Is Sexual Healing?' you boldly introduce the subject of integrating the erotic into our health care system. While I think it's a fabulous idea, given the degree of prevalent touch phobia people are entrapped by, the truth is,  the existing (American) health care system has not even seen fit to include vitamins and food supplements as covered expenses in the vaste majority of health care plans. What might be a practical way to bridge the gap to a futuristic, sexually- compassionate health care model, as you and other visionaries see it?

 

I think that massage therapy, physical therapy, acupuncture, midwifery and prenatal education, Reichian based bodywork, or chiropractic care are more closely related to the type of sexual healing that I’m talking about than the nutritutional options that you mentioned. Scientific research has shown that all of these hands-on therapies have therapeutic value and many insurance plans cover at least some of these modalities.

 

While ethical concerns and religious lobbies definitely influence our health care policies, financial issues and historical precedents are also important. In the Victorian era, women sought relief from “hysteria” from physicians who manually brought them to orgasm, sometimes with the aid of primitive vibrators. The pharmaceutical companies don’t want their patented medicines replaced by readily available, non-prescription herbs, but skillful and ethical use of erotic energy for healing would create financially and personally rewarding employment opportunities for many. The professions I mentioned above are already beginning to bridge the gap, as are a number of new professional organizations for sexual healers.

 

Q2-  In your article 'Erotic Spirituality' you say that human beings have 'a deep longing for the (re)union of sex and spirit. My concern is that the word 'reunion' hints at a fall- redemptionist perspective (although not, in your version, a horrid sin- based one). From Church at Paronomasian perspective, ANY sort of fall- redeptionism is problematic inasmuch as it wittingly or unwittingly posits life as the fixing of a broken cup or the restoration of a lost estate. Can you comment, please?

 

Perhaps we could simply say that people have a memory – whether you want to call it genetic memory, cellular memory, mythology, or the collective unconscious - of a time when there was no mental, dualistic separation between sex and spirit. We know this undivided state in our bones, we carry it in our blood, and all that is necessary is to drop the cultural conditioning which tells us otherwise.

 

Q3- Speaking solely in terms of physiology, Tantric Taoist traditions largely consider sex between women entirely normal, but not between men, the point being, male sperm is competitive. Assuming you agree with this, how important do you consider physiological normalcy in the quest for a vision of  comprehensive communal world peace?

 

In my opinion, this assumption about the physiological basis for male homophobia comes out of a patriarchal tradition which has painstakingly destroyed all traditional teachings which preceded them. My gut tells me that just as some women are not physiologically compatible with some men (think about the rH blood factor, pheromones, genetically carried diseases), similar factors, both biological and psychological, hold true within the genders. Peace – whether it be within the family, the community, or the world at large – requires a certain level of knowledge and wisdom about finding compatible, complimentary, joyful, and appropriate roles for all people. When all people, all gifts, and all challenges are honored and accepted, true synergy is possible.

 

I see that one of the biggest obstacles we face to world peace is the projection of our shadow, or unacceptable parts of self, onto others and then demonizing and attempting to eradicate the “other.” 

 

Q4- Dr. D, you've argued that the denial of pleasure (especially sexual pleasure) has been the primary tool used by patriarchy to maintain control. While I agree that patriarchal social conditioning has, quite unfortunately, prevented millions of women from identifying themselves as naturally poly (and bi), it would seem that, under the infuence of  limbic brain jealousy and the imagined 'need' for  matrilineal security, many women would continue having serious problems with sexual freedom, even in the  blessed absence of patriarchy. Can you comment, please?

 

Among women who have freed themselves from their conditioning, I have not observed any “serious problems” with sexual freedom. Sexual freedom implies the right to choose freely where, when, and with whom to engage sexually. This does not equate to a perpetually open door! A woman who is truly free may prefer to be with one partner for a period of time. Or she may choose to share her beloved(s) with another. Or she may prefer that her beloved(s) make their own choices. This kind of freedom is the fruit of deep spiritual and psychological inquiry and at this point in time, it is a small percentage of both men and women who have attained it. But I have seen it with my own eyes and felt it with my own heart and know that it exists.

 

Q5- What do you believe is the kindest, most positive thing we can collectively do as human beings  to help assure a less dangerous, more benign planetary future?

 

The next generation is our hope for the future. Giving our best not only to our own biological offspring, but to all children on the planet, is the most positive action we can take! This means making it a priority to provide the best possible nutrition, unconditional love, health care, and education (and I do mean education, not training, but true teaching in how to be a conscious, empathic, considerate, sexual and clear human being to every child on the planet. This means providing education to parents, providing mentors and supportive “extended family” to those who don’t have this, providing parents tools and opportunities to have fulfilling lives of their own so that they don’t have to live through their children, and implementing social policies that truly support healthy family life.

 

There is a lot of controversy on the planet about the best way to solve environmental, political, and economic problems, but we all know how to raise healthy children! It just requires the willingness to say “this is our priority as a species!” As the native Americans said – we must consider the effects of our actions not just for ourselves, but for seven generations.

 

Deborah Taj Anapol, Ph.D.

www.lovewithoutlimits.com

415.507.1739

 

Hi Everyone!

This has been one of the most transformational months in my life! So much has happened I hardly know where to start. First of all, Cinnamon Sky has done an amazing job of redesigning my www.lovewithoutlimits.com website with support from my webhosts, Will and Sue Jones. More additions are in the works, one of which will allow people to connect with each other, so check it out and let me know what you think. The upgrade was just in time for an ABC news story which quoted me and my book. ABC news got interested because Gay Talese, now in his 70’s and author of many books including Thy Neighbor’s Wife published the second volume of his memoirs which talked about his own non-traditional 50 year marriage. Click these links if you want the details:
http://abcnews.go.com/US/LifeStages/story?id=3464575&page=1
http://abcnews.go.com/US/LifeStages/comments?type=story&id=3464575.

People have been suggesting for years that I write my memoirs but I haven’t really had much juice for that project, partly because the past, however colorful and exciting it may have been, is past. And while I might be just as good a writer, I am no where near as famous as Gay Talese. Also because in spite of rave reviews from those who have read it, The Seven Natural Laws of Love hasn’t sold that well. If half the people who bought Love Without Limits bought the Seven Natural Laws, I’d be in my 3rd or 4th printing and I haven’t even sold out the first run. So I hesitate to invest more time and energy in another book. Having said that, I have been feeling inspired to start working on a novel about death which is not a subject I have any firsthand knowledge of, so I will have to do some research. Fortunately I like to research new topics! And I hear it’s good for your brain too.

With all the rocking and rolling on the planet these days, and all the aging Baby Boomers, I figure there’s going to be a lot of people dying in the near future. A hurricane narrowly missed Hawaii the other day, then a series of big earthquakes in Peru generated a tsunami warning. You’ve undoubtedly been hearing about all the chaos in the financial markets.

We’ve also had a few small earthquakes here in Hawaii, just a little shaking up, no damage, but on a personal level, the big deal for me is that I fell and broke my leg. The middle right tibia and top right fibula in case you want to visualize quick and easy healing. I’ve never broken a bone before in my life and I was alone on the Farm when it happened so it was a little scary. At the same time, it has been an amazing catalyst for the breaking open of my own heart.

I am so grateful for all the love and support and much needed help I’ve been receiving and so grateful I’ve been able to just surrender to the whole situation. Everything I’ve needed has magically shown up. It’s been an amazing opportunity to lie back and receive and to slow down enough to appreciate all the incredible beauty around me even more deeply. I admit I was disappointed that I won’t be able to swim miles every day, let alone get in the ocean for many months, and I won’t be able to do much work on the Farm. I was also sad I won’t be able to get back to California when I planned to spend more time with my daughter before she leaves for college, but in a funny way, this broken leg has created more clarity in my life as it tells me I need to return to California for a few months and base there until my leg is healed.

At this time, I am still intending to offer the Women’s Healing Retreat Oct 13-20, perhaps with an apprentice to help with the snorkeling and dolphin activities. The retreat is limited to eight lucky women, who want to do some deep healing of body and soul, to pamper themselves and each other with massage and by making their own natural spa products and eating healthy, natural, local foods. If you want to attend, register now as I need your support to keep this retreat on track! Click on this link to sign up. http://www.sevenlawsoflove.com/store/default.asp. You can also order books and ebooks there.

I also want to offer you the following link to a podcast of an interview with me on sexual healing. It’s free and available to listen to anytime:
http://www.personallifemedia.com/podcasts/tantra-kama-sutra/episode011-deborah-anapol-sexual-healing.html

In the midst of all this intensity, I also recommend this short inspirational feel good video you can view by clicking this link: http://theshiftmovie.com/index2.html

There are still some rental openings at Lokahi Farm in September, October, and November if you’d like to enjoy a tropical vacation in the Garden of Eden. I don’t know if I will be at Lokahi Farm beyond December of this year, so if you’ve been putting off a visit, get it on your calendar now! If you could use some support with your own changes I have lots of time open for phone sessions now as I rest my leg. You can reach me at taj@lovewithoutlimits.com or at 415.507.1739.

Until then, may your heart be open, may your eyes see nothing but beauty and may you hear the wisdom of the ancestors.

Aloha,
Deborah Taj Anapol